I had a breakthrough the other day. I’ve had many “aha” moments in my career as a therapist and an Eating Disorder survivor. But this one was different… it profoundly affected the way that I think about myself and the world .
Last weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the I Can Do It! conference in New York City. It was held at the Javits Center, so I was among 3000 other attendees listening with rapt attention to the bevy of speakers. The topic for the weekend was how to change your negative thoughts and therefore change your feelings, your behaviors, your outcomes and your life.
Now, I’ve been a student of success philosophy my entire life. My father is a motivational speaker and has instilled these messages in me from the day I was born. I wasn’t listening to him for my first 21 or so years because I spent those years with a negative self-image, negative thoughts in my head, hopelessness for the future, and an Eating Disorder.
In my early twenties, I threw myself into recovery – first of my destructive thoughts – and then ED recovery naturally followed. I’ve spent many hours of my life challenging and re-programming the negative thoughts in my head that affect every aspect of my external experience.
So here I was sitting at this conference last weekend, sifting through all the words of inspiration and hoping to find a nugget or two I could use to make the next shift in my life – a “gem” I like to call it. And then there it was! Wayne Dyer, one of the most respected professionals in the field of success philosophy calmly said “I throw everything in my trash can that isn’t in alignment with what I want”.
I’ve been telling my clients for years – “Take your emotional garbage to the curb every night” which works beautifully to lighten your emotional load and emerge clearer the next day. But it occurred to me that I wasn’t throwing enough garbage in my emotional can. That very moment changed my life.
So now, when people are throwing “stuff” at me that isn’t in alignment with what I want from the universe – inner peace, harmony, calm, happiness and love – I throw it directly into my garbage can.
Gotta go to the store…. Need a bigger can.
Danna Markson, LCSW